Andrew Tate’s Harmful Masculinity and Healthy Alternatives
Young men, feeling ostracized by the seemingly growing vitriol against them, have gravitated to extreme figures like Andrew Tate, and we need to give them better and healthier solutions.
Recent conversations pertaining to masculinity have engendered controversy and a growing political divide between men and women. It is evident that, especially in political discourse, disagreements among the sexes have continued to widen, with young men increasingly adopting more regressive mindsets about gender dynamics. This has coincided with the rise of media figures like Andrew Tate and other “alpha male influencers” who claim that men can only become “real men” through the rejection of all that makes them soft, compassionate, emotional, and open to vulnerability. This has facilitated a disturbing rise in misogynistic beliefs and has also pushed many young men to believe that they are only valued for superficial and materialistic metrics of success, like wealth, supercars, social status, and the ability to inflict violence. These problems are already widely known, but it is my belief that rising misogynistic rhetoric is a symptom of a deeper problem plaguing young men.
In an evolving society where women are empowered to make their own decisions and pursue careers, they are no longer financially dependent on men, leading to women being able to choose romantic partners who fulfill their emotional needs as a result. This has led to many men feeling lost in their ability to find romantic partners, leading to a building resentment manifested through a belief that feminism and female empowerment is the cause of their unfulfillment. Figures like Tate claim that the solution to this problem is to re-subjugate women to under patriarchal norms and the reaffirmation of traditional gender norms that view masculinity through a narrow set of requirements.
I fundamentally disagree with this idea. In fact, I believe that continuing to restrict our understanding of masculinity will create emotionally underdeveloped men that are focused on stifling the progress of female empowerment instead of learning how to become emotionally whole human beings capable of reciprocal relationships.
I think it is important that men understand that women’s empowerment is here to stay. No amount of misogynistic rhetoric and bitterness is going to transform the world back into a patriarchal place where men hold all the power. As men, we can either whine and pout about it (doesn’t sound very “masculine” to me) or we can accept that women want to be seen as full human beings — equal to men — and celebrate the opportunity for us to better understand our own humanity, because believe it or not, anachronistic and restrictive definitions of masculinity also hurt men.
Firstly, “manosphere gurus” like Tate claim that only a small percentage of men are worthy of having healthy romantic relationships with the opposite sex and that the majority of men are destined for a life of pathetic insignificance. He claims that this is done by being in the top 1 percent of wealthy men and by being in peak physical shape. He repeatedly operates under the idea that unless you are the best in all of these categories, you will be under the continuous threat of girls leaving you to be with a “stronger” and “better” man. Essentially, unless a man is completely devoid of all flaws and vulnerabilities, Tate believes that no woman will ever truly love you. To me it is apparent that this outdated understanding of masculinity breeds insecurity and makes it difficult for men to develop genuine trust in a connection they have with a woman.
This mindset summarizes the ethos of Tate’s masculinity, and it undoubtedly leads to a vacuous existence that views romantic relationships as entirely transactional.
Furthermore, the main complaint used by these “manosphere gurus” to disparage women is their claim that women are only interested in men for financial reasons due to the blatant misconception that women are incapable of individual success. Instead, finding a path to genuine relationships is more likely in a society that has independent women who aren’t searching for partners to be reliant on, but searching for an equal and companion instead. This not only gives women more autonomy and freedom, but it also alleviates the expectation that men are only valuable for what they provide, which promotes the idea that men too have intrinsic value.
I believe that a lot of young men don’t adequately understand the concepts of masculinity and femininity on a deeper level, which contributes to these simplistic and often harmful interpretations. Many think that masculine and feminine traits are mutually exclusive and incapable of coexisting within the same person, but masculinity that isn’t toxic requires connecting with one’s more emotional side and building confidence through your imperfections and vulnerabilities. While Tate’s philosophy guides men to be paranoid towards showing the emotions that make them human, a more evolved understanding of manhood allows us to be authentic and feel connected to others who share the universal imperfections of being human.
An alternative, more positive masculine role model is Jason Wilson, a martial arts coach in the Detroit area, who works predominantly with black youth who struggle with the trauma of rough and often unpredictable communities they are part of. No one can claim that Wilson is not masculine in all of the conventional ways as he is physically capable and has extraordinary mental fortitude. However, what makes him a far better role model than Andrew Tate is his understanding of the importance of acknowledging and working through emotions, and how expressing vulnerabilities to people allows for more rich, intimate, and authentic relationships.
Wilson does not deny the value of physical training and the capacity to be dangerous to protect loved ones, but his ability to shift between this and a more compassionate state exemplifies how men should strive to not always bear a deleterious emotional burden. In this more evolved masculinity, a man protects and provides not only through his physical competence but also through his emotional intelligence which enables him to reassure and comfort the people he loves.
This healthier version of manhood is crucial in the aftermath of the 2024 presidential election, which many experts on masculinity like Scott Galloway have called a “battle for young men” and “aspirational masculinity.” Galloway correctly claims that no group has fallen faster than young men, who are three times more likely to overdose, four times more likely to commit suicide, 14 times more likely to be incarcerated compared to females, and are 98% of school shooters. I believe these issues are indicative of men being ill-equipped to handle complex emotions in a society that continues to hold them to unfair patriarchal standards in spite of a more tumultuous economy and more strong and independent women. In such a cultural moment, it is indisputable that solving these issues will require teaching men how to evolve to the changing climate instead of listening to men like Tate who perpetuate the very standards that make men feel inadequate.
I believe that many have gravitated towards people like Andrew Tate’s conception of masculinity because the left needs to be more intentional with validating the concerns and misgivings of young men. While much of the backlash against the ramifications of toxic masculinity are justified, such as resisting workplace sexual harassment, many young men feel unwelcome in open conversations with liberal activists because of the assumption that all men are privileged. While there are advantages to being a man, there are also plenty of hardships and stresses unique to it, like the societal pressures to be a provider and the collective judgment many men face for being overly emotional. Also, some younger women have misunderstood the goals of feminism, adopting some of the attributes that are historically tied to toxic masculinity like the excessive physical and sexual objectification of the opposite sex, which likely leads to men having the same struggles women have fought to overcome. It is important that women don’t adopt the toxic behaviors they hate in men, as it will continue to promote a shallow understanding of sexuality that leaves little room for true connection and vulnerability. Women being held to the same standard as men with unlearning toxic behaviors demonstrates the gender equality liberals advocate for. Progressives should continue to focus on women's issues but find ways to be sensitive and responsive to the legitimate concerns of men.
Additionally more men are frightened by the simplistic discourse that often accompanies conversations of rape allegations, and slogans like “believe all women”, which encourage people to automatically assume every accused man is guilty. Recent events like Crystal Mangum’s admission that she falsely accused three former Duke lacrosse players of rape is proof that having a bias against all men who are accused of misconduct isn’t the right solution. Despite this truth, many men who protested to phrases like “believe all women” were called misogynistic and enablers of rape culture, leading to them being shunned from progressive movements, which made them feel more welcomed in right-wing circles. People like Andrew Tate and Donald Trump use instances like this to prey on men’s fears of being falsely accused and unfairly targeted, and liberals should do everything possible to separate themselves from radicals who use phrases like “it's time to boycott all men,” which has been popularized by the 4B movement. If progressives want men to support women in their enduring fight against misogyny and actual abusers, the feminist movement must allow men to feel welcomed and free to speak about their desires to be judged as individuals and not solely on gender. Most importantly, progressives must articulate clearly that they won’t judge all men for the bad actions of some, just as women wouldn’t want men to do to them.
For these reasons, it is imperative that liberals promote their own version of aspirational masculinity through figures like Jason Wilson and Scott Galloway, as these figures disprove the right-wing narrative that it is impossible to be both progressive and a “real man.” In the end, the sooner more men believe in these ideas, the sooner men will stop viewing voting for a female president as a blemish on their identity. I believe in men having a strong sense of self that is independent of how many Bugattis one owns or how many girls one sleeps with to compensate for their insecurities. I believe in a manhood that allows men to be capable of the compassion and emotional intelligence needed to live fulfilling lives and sustain close relationships. Andrew Tate’s life may be flashy, but it definitely is not masculine.